Wednesday, February 14, 2018

5 Things to Feel Grateful For

Jadi, di tengah huru-hara pengesahan pasal MD3 dan segala jenis religiosity hates ke umat beragama manapun, I’m well aware about all those things, but let’s talk about another topic.

What’s the last thing that could ever happen to you that makes you feel so much grateful for whatever God gave you? When did you feel it? Was it just this morning? Or yesterday? 2 days ago? Or you’ve never felt this way before?

This past few years somehow brought me to another point of life. I knew maybe that’s just not (yet) a lifetime achievement, cause in fact I’m still digging for it. I knew my life would not be just as beautiful or interesting as it seems through Instagram stories, like, as I get up and pray and make my coffee and listen to a mood-boosting songs and through the day with that big white smiles and end the day with a tired happy face to bed. So beautiful it’s naïve. Sometimes, I have to wake up with deadlines, sleep with my watch still in my wrist just to get myself unpleasant sleep so I could wake up earlier, skip lunch just for economizing and drink more coffee. And end the day with an anxious mind to bed.

Social media somehow blur all those struggles. I ever got this statement spoken by my close friend “lo mah, santai banget sih, idupnya main mulu” I was like “hehe, ya kali, tau dari mana?” and she said, “gue liat di story instagram lo”.

Since when social media could really describe what you’ve been through?

Now it became an iceberg, a super serious iceberg. People tend to only see the success without the hard works, the money without the sleepless night, the beauty without the insecurity and the happy smiles of a couple without the fights and the compromises. However, what matters are what come before the good stuff. Things, people think it’s shouldn’t have to be shared. That’s normal, we all tend to share those happy feeling instead of the sad ones, right? That’s why, some people don’t share their sad emotions to social media (of course, unless you’re attention whore or drama queen), and that’s never could conclude that somebody is always having a great time in their entire life.

And from those things that surround me, I found it, “maybe, the hardest thing that we have to do is feeling grateful and husnudzan to God’s plan”. It may seems so simple, but the fact it’s not. Theoretically yes, you just have to focus on the good side and let go, but practically, human’s emotion is way more complicated that makes it somehow…hard. At least for me. But for me, it’s something you can learn and with more and more trainings, you will.

Since, to write is to keep, I’m going to write down a list to sum up of what makes me feel grateful, even I know, He has grant me so many things I could’ve never imagine before that maybe I couldn’t mention them all. So here we go.

  • I could still open my eyes after a few hours of sleep. Sleeping is a half way to die, so to wake up in another day means another chance to be better. I feel blessed. Chance to be better. Cause sometimes, things I broke yesterday is something I couldn’t fix tomorrow, so I just go on, and promise to myself to be better and try not to repeat the same mistakes.
  • Mother’s prayer. I think I would never be in this point of life, if my mom never spend her times to pray for me. I feel like, all the success or the failure I feel is related to three things; the quality of my prayers to God, my mom’s prayers and of course, my effort to make things happen.
  • Friends to Jannah. To be one of those shalih and shalihah who’s invited to be in Jannah is surely Allah’s prerogative rights. And for me, to make friends or have friends who’s also wanting it is one of ikhtiar that I as human can do. Because, it’s quite rare in this moment to have friends who would encourage you to be better, not only to human but also to Allah, in the world full of people saying “urusan ibadah, biar jadi urusan gue dan Tuhan gue”. The most grateful feeling is when you have friends not only in your good or bad times, as how quotation nowadays describe how friendship goals is, but to be mentioned in their prayers in 2.00am in her very private time with Allah, where they could ask for million things about them but still, they mention your name for good in their prayers. That’s friendship goals.
  • The blessing in disguise, they said. I could never be bored to repeat this. But the moment when my father passed away was the moment, I though, Allah has wake me up from a unrealistic dream. I remember that day my uncle said “sekarang, anin penggantinya buat kuatin mama” I was like, a highest tree, an arrogant highest tree struck by a lightning. I broke down. But that’s just the moment when all the things actually began. It’s just somehow amazed me how Allah actually taught me, that this life is temporary. I was thinking that I was too young to face this, I was just a junior high schooler. But it’s all set. No one is late. And no one is too early for everything, including death. And that’s just the time that has been set. So I must be ready. Well, the world keeps moving right, whether I think, I’m ready or not.
  • Live far away from home, somehow blur the definition of home itself. Have moved to 2 places since high school. From Jakarta-Tangerang to Gunung Kidul (that’s in Yogyakarta) now I’m in Surakarta (Solo). It was hard as a new comer of “anak rantau” in high school, but lately I know that it’s addictive. I spend my life with mostly orang Betawi, orang Jawa, and others, with different cultures, religions and characters and somehow it could widen our point of view to see things. I know I’m a bad talkers in front of someone I just met (unless, we know each other long enough), but I like to observe lol it sounds so psycho, no, somehow by observing, I could analyze thing and know thing. And that’s just the thing I found out I like after living in three different places. I wish for another chance to live in another place, please. Hehe.
A poem by Atticus. Idk either it's related or not to this post. But I kinda like it

Those 5 things, are the basic things I feel grateful for that will be followed up by another million small or big things in my life. I feel grateful for what happened, and can’t wait for what’s more to come. And one of those things I could highlight is,

The struggle is real. The ups and downs. The roller coaster feeling.
And the road is never been easy.
But every milestones you pass, it all will worth the fight.
And yes, it’s only a matter of from where you see a disaster to become a grace.


Have a wonderful day,
 

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Thoughts of PDA



Kayak yang saya bilangdi postingan sebelumnya, obrolan di umur 23 ini salah satunya nggak jauh-jauh dari tema pernikahan. Dari yang model nanya kapan nikah, dengan mode terhalus seperti kapan menyegerakan sampai yang mode kasar kayak kapan kawin.

Dan hal ini nggak tau kenapa juga ternyata makin kerasa nggak hanya di ruang-ruang obrolan tatap muka yang bahas-bahas soal pernikahan. Tetapi juga sampai ke ranah media sosial. Oiya, sebelum baca lebih lanjut, saya ingatkan bahwa tulisan ini saya tulis berdasarkan kacamata saya aja, jadi kalau misal nggak bisa diterima waktu tengah-tengah baca mending berhenti aja, dan cari bacaan lain yang mungkin akan menyenangkan hati kamu. Oke lanjut.
Akhir-akhir ini tema pernikahan ini kerasa makin dekat dengan saya. Ya bukan hal yang mengagetkan sih, karena orang-orang yang saya ikuti di media sosial juga orang-orang yang seumuran saya, paling tua juga tiga sampai empat tahun di atas saya, ini di luar seleb-seleb yang saya ikuti di media sosial ya. Dengan umur-umur usia nikah gini jadi wajar banget nggak sih kalo misal teman-teman kita yang kita ikuti di media sosial ini tadi juga mulai bergerak fase hidupnya dari fase melajang ke fase pernikahan. Dan fase itu semua terlihat semua di media sosial, ya gimana nggak ya, disukai atau tidak, diterima atau tidak banyak orang yang menjadikan media sosial sebagai sarana aktualisasi dirinya. Dari yang biasanya posting lagi nongkrong di kafe A sama temen-temennya, atau liburan ke X sama temen-temennya jadi yang tiba-tiba posting pre-wedding, wedding, pos-wedding sampai ke kehidupan sehari-hari setelah menikah macam bagaimana hikmah-hikmah dari mahligai pernikahannya dinarasikan dalam caption panjang sarat akan makna. Saya sejauh ini masih merasa biasa aja sih, paling ketawa-ketawa aja kalo misal liat temen yang dulu kelakuannya kayak apa lagi posting manis-manis sama bininya, tapi ya udah, buat saya posting macam itu lewat begitu saja, saya sebagai netijen hanya menjadi penonton yang urun “like” kalo nemu postingannya, atau ini karena saya nggak punya orientasi untuk nikah secepatnya kali ya, makanya liat pos manis-manis gitu juga masih lempeng-lempeng aja.

Terus beberapa waktu yang lalu waktu lagi ngumpul sama beberapa teman, kita gak sengaja sampai ke topik PDA waktu kami lagi ngobrol. Istilah PDA ini udah saya denger dari jaman SMP, nggak nyangka sekarang PDA jadi topik yang sering diperbincangkan di teman-teman saya hehe. PDA atau Public Display Affection punya artinya kurang lebih intinya mempertontonkan kemesraan di ranah publik, singkatnya pamer kemesraan.

Saya sendiri punya dua kelakuan yang tergolong PDA, sekali lagi menurut saya, kamu boleh sepakat, nggak juga gapapa, belum tentu ngubah pandangan saya juga.
·         Pertama, kalo The Married Couple (TMC) mulai posting kontak fisip di area-area yang sebenernya bisa bangeeet kalo nggak diupload atau dipamerkan ke ranah publik.
·         Kedua, kalo tadi secara fisik, karena kita mainnya sosmed, maka nggak mungkin kalo nggak ada PDA-PDA terselubung lewat verbal. Menurut saya, kalo TMC mulai poating macam panggilan-panggilan khusus gitu nggak perlu sih jadi konsumsi publik, toh tanpa itu pun followersnya udah pada tau kalo bininya adalah miliknya, moreover macam gombalan, rayuan, yang aduh udahlah, rasanya bikin saya pengen bilang “mending kalian pm”, tapi nggak tau kenapa, saya masih bisa sih tolerir pujian. Eh ini kamu yang baca bisa bedain kan mana pujian dan mana rayuan/gombalan?

Dari obrolan sama teman-teman memang ada beberapa yang saya sepakati ada ada juga yang tidak. Seperti misalnya, posting foto atau video lagi makan atau pergi bareng. Kalau menurut saya itu sama sekali bukan PDA. Posting foto anaknya dengan segala perkembangannya, dan ilmu-ilmu yang bisa diambil, apalagi itu, nggak ada PDA-PDAnya, jadi kalo sampe ada yang ngomong “ih postingannya si A masa tentang si B mulu” paling yaudah saya liatin aja, sambil nyinyirin dalam hati. Wkwkwk.

Gini ya, logikanya adalah, saat sebelumnya si A belum menikah, media sosial memang digunakan oleh si A, siapapun itu, untuk memposting hal-hal yang ada di dalam hidupnya, yang berkaitan dengan dirinya, jadi pertanyaannya, apa itu juga menjadi suatu hal yang aneh jika suatu saat si A baru menikah dan memposting sesuatu yang berkaitan dengan dirinya seumur hidup yang dalam kasus ini adalah bininya? Jadi kalau misal ada orang yang sebelum menikah hobi makan, ke mana-mana foodgram foto makanan, eh setelah menikah posting lagi makanan-makanan tapi sama bininya, ya itu bukan PDA lah, foodgram adalah habitnya dia di masa lampau sampai sekarang, kemudian ditemukan dengan orang baru yang mana adalah bininya dan ditemukan dengan kebiasannya itu. Selesai di situ. Menurut saya itu hal yang wajar, karena setiap orang punya tendensi buat menunjukkan apa-apa yang dia suka, ya kalau dalam kasus tadi berarti membagikan makanan dalam foto di Instagram (misal) dan bininya adalah hal yang disuka. Selesai di situ sih sebenernya. Ditambah kita idup di jaman yang kadang kuota aja rasnya bisa lebih murah dari pada harga cabe, karena kebutuhan untuk mainan media sosial emang setinggi itu, sarana untuk aktualisasi diri makin gampang diakses, kecenderungan untuk menunjukkan apa yang disukai juga makin tinggi. Tapi, ya ini cuma saya yang fakir ilmu dengan segala analogi keledai.

Karena saya yakin, untuk tidak menunjukkan kesukaan kita itu sulit nona dan tuan, ya coba aja dilihat lagi, apa kesukaan kita yang sering kita publikasikan saat ini, saat nanti tiba masanya giliran kita, saat hal-hal yang kita suka itu ada dalam satu bingkai kamera dan biasa dipublikaskan (di luar dua poin tadi yang saya sebutkan) kemudian bergabung dengan hal-hal yang berkaitan dengan bini kita nanti. Entah yang suka share nongki di mana, besok jadi posting sama bininya, yang suka masak besok jadi suka posting bekal buat bininya atau masakan sehari-hari. Mungkin kita juga bilang “entar captionku nggak yang menye-menye gitu”, mungkin juga pada saat itu kita juga ingin membagikan hikmah-hikmah dalam bentuk narasi-narasi panjang di caption yang lanjut di komentar, tapi ya mungkin juga nanti akan muncul juga orang-orang yang walaupun kita udah usaha buat posting sebiasa mungkin, kita tetap dibilang PDA. Well, the ugly truth is, we can’t please everyone, even a clown has bunch of people who have phobia of him.

Definisi-definisi soal PDA berdasarkan tadi jadi tak lebih dari sebuah kecemburuan saja untuk segera ingin ada di titik yang sama. Menurut saya, jika TMC belum melanggar dua hal yang tadi saya sebutkan, saya masih bisa terima. Lagi pula, kadang menurut saya, bukan mereka yang sudah biasa-biasa banget ini yang harus mengubah postingan hanya karena ada konten bermuatan bini-bininya, tetapi netijen budiman yang memang harus lebih bijak lagi dalam menghadapi postingan. Tetapi saya juga berpikir, ini salah satu efek dari pertemuan nilai baru dan nilai lama, dari sebuah kebiasaan yang dimasuki nilai baru. Awalnya pasti ada ketidak cocokan, tapi lama-lama juga bisa menyatu. Fakta dari salah satu teman yang tadinya belum menikah dengan segala kesehariannya, kemudian menikah dan punya rutinitas baru. Jadilah followers merasa bertumbukkan dengan nilai baru juga. Tapi tak apalah, kan kata Tan Malaka, terbentur, terbentur, terbentur, terbentuk. Tetapi kalau masih tidak kuat, cukup unfollow saja. Selesai.



(mencoba) menjadi netijen budiman.
 

Early 23 Post



Yeay to finally get back again after I left this site-full-of-piece-of-thoughts and became so much unproductive to write here in 2017. But I’m so much feeling thankful for things I finally accomplished in the previous year, even there are some things which I failed, but yeah, I think we could just focus on the good side that God still want me to make them up this year.
Therefore, I hope that I could always make time to write this year. Cause, I found it so difficult for me to just write everything while my brain kept thinking things back then, and eventually most of them left forgotten. So here I am, ((trying)) to make that happen.

This year, I’m turning 23. I am sometimes still feeling overwhelmed for saying that number of my age, seriously, 23?! I meant like, how time flies, right… I could still remember how I played Galasin or Tak Benteng in primary school, in break time or free time every Saturday. Playing hockey by going to the canteen in the middle of the class cause I was freaking starving back then in junior high school. Or being an organization-gurl freak in senior high school to just get over everything, my life was kinda messed up that time. Through the ups and downs, the puberty, the turning point… and here I am, healthy and alive in almost 23.
And yup, welcome to the world of adults! And society! And other world you named it where the wrong stereotype is even truer than what science or Holy Quran said. There are actually few things people in this age always talk about, first marriage : the married couple, the need to marry someone,  desperately want to marry someone. Second, it’s your degree; what’s your degree? Have you graduate? What’s the potential job for your degree? Are you going to continue your study? Third, it’s your job : what’s your job? How’s the salary? What’s your position in that firm? and other question which will shape your life cycle to be like this : sleep-wake up-eat-work-eat-sleep-more work-eat-another work-sleep-repeat.
I just finished my thesis, it feels so damn good to be free from the abundance for 10 months. Even it’s not really an abundance for me, since I could enjoy the whole process making it. How it took me from one café to another to see how it works, or meeting 96 respondents, asked more or less 60 questions for two months. It was great, it was best feeling ever. But it ain't over, so much more things ahead.

And here I am, while waiting for my revision, feeling like I got more time when actually, I’m half-jobless, but trying to keep moving.


So, 2018 bring it on!