Three Magical Words

Been awhile leaving this portal. Trapped in the real world, somehow it feels so good yet enough to make you swearing all the time. Well, hello again to you.

Stepping on the first day of October and still trying to find the rhythm to at least survive in this bloody semester –have I described this semester as desperate as it seems? Well, if it’s not, then it’s good, but if it is, I will no longer speaking about it, let’s spread the good vibe only.

Thinking about what September be like to me, making me want to sit in front of the laptop and type just what I feel and after stealing one to three hours of sleep in the morning and stealing another hour to write this post –now, I’m considering myself as a time robber on weekend. Well, here we go.

The thing about September is I have to go back to the reality –which is a life of senior student in the university, even there are a lot more seniors from the previous year. Welcoming SOME final projects with some groups. Reviewing some journals. Reading unfinished books. Up all night for reviewing movies. And the thing in organizations that haven’t finished, yet. Thank God, I have friends and a good playlist to through it all.

But this post ain’t about how I (try to) survive it all, it’s about some things I notice in organization I joined, or the groups I’m in. Well, I just realized that it’s easier for people to say that they hate each other than saying they actually love each other. And it’s easier for them to act like they love each other while they actually hate each other. Such as hypocrite, I know sometimes that’s just how we are.

I do really have a "thing" with komorebi. 

 a Japanese word for the sunshine filtering through the leaves of a tree (or trees).

And lately I know that “I love you” got the same power as “I hate you”. They’re both are destructive, yet could be a trigger for some people to keep going. Now I know why my mom ever said to me not to love people so much or hate people so much because the line between those two things is too thin and slippery. Somehow, we’ll have no idea on which side we’re going to end up on.

Speaking about the three words, is it the “I Love You” or the “I Hate You”, that I mentioned before like they are powerful enough to get you down or to rise you up. Well, I’m thinking about another powerful three words that we (actually) need all the time, when we interact to another people.

It’s a Thank you, a Please, and a Sorry. Well, this is actually a value that our kindergarten teachers always taught us back then. But as we grow up, and the selfish thoughts become bigger and bigger that we have no idea about it, and the monster under our bed that we use to be scared of move inside ourselves, we easily forgot those magical words.

I try to notice this three words that people actually can use when they asked for something, when they got something or when they made a mistake. But sometimes it disappoint me –well I don’t have the right to feel this at all, or just quiet sad for the society, how this precious value can be forgotten.

Some people is born with a “bossy mode” built in their bodies, while some other are unconsciously bossy. It’s not about which side is better than other, it’s about appreciation, and furthermore we never know when we ask people to help us or to do something, our words may hurt them in the way we never understand, or cause an answer of “okay” with a smile that never touch the eyes. I don’t know whether a please would help or not but at least it’ll help you to ease the gap, to appreciate them and to make them feel needed.

For some things, I believe that people don’t have to know what we’re doing, they shouldn’t know it, or they must not know it. For some things, it’s better to keep it within ourselves. But we never have the power to read other people’s mind, sometimes we don’t know what they want but we think we do. That’s why we need to at least say thank you if we cannot give something to appreciate someone’s effort after we asked them to do something.

And I know, the action speak louder than words. That somehow people forget how powerful a word also. I saw too many situations when someone made a mistake and to ask for forgiveness, he/she did something that he/she think it’s enough to pay what he/she did without saying a sorry. Well, that’s good. But back to the first point when I talk about how we know a little about some people’s mind. Sometimes, sorry is not the same as a response to some people, and we ask for forgiveness not just response. A word could have a thousand meaning, like a sorry that may have a meaning of we mean every act we did to ask for someone’s forgiveness.

The weather on this Saturday is being nice. I think I’m going to go out. Happy weekend. Monday is still far enough for you to have your me-time, your family time, and your laundry time.

Please be there when I got tired of walking this long-long-long road.

Thank you for staying and not leaving.

Sorry for making your speed way too slow than the others.

Masih suka Hujan?

Mari kita bicara tentang hujan.

Sudah seberapa dalam kamu menyukai hujan?

Sudah suka wangi tanah basahnya?

Sudah suka bunyi setiap tetes airnya?

Sudah suka suasana mendung yang membuat kita nyaman untuk bergulung di dalam selimut, sibuk dengan dunia fantasi yang kita bangun dan segelas kopi hangat –kopi instan dua ribu-an atau kopi hitam premium yang per kilo harganya puluhan hingga ratusan ribu?

Tapi sudahkah kita tahan akan banjirnya yang mungkin nanti datang?

Sudahkah kita tahan dengan jadwal-jadwal pertemuan yang harus ditunda bahkan dibatalkan karena hujan yang datang tanpa permisi?

Atau sudahkah kita tahan saat tubuh basah kuyup diguyur hujan meninggalkan jaket baru yang harus dijemur baru bisa dipakai lagi atau alergi dingin yang membuat kulit gatal dan meruam merah?

Sudahkah sedalam itu?

Kita tidak akan berbicara tentang hujan. Tentang bagaimana proses terjadinya hujan. Jenis-jenis hujan. Dan segala macam tentang hujan. Kita akan membicarakan tentang sebuah novel yang menjadikan hujan sebagai salah satu momen penting di dalamnya. Ya. Hujan karya Tere Liye.

Novel ini berbicara tentang seorang perempuan bernama Lail. Di umurnya yang ke-21, ia justru harus berhadapan dengan seorang psikiater(begitu saya menyangka di awal cerita). Dari apa yang Tere liye gambarkan, Lail di umurnya yang ke-21 ini adalah perempuan yang tertekan, depresi dan sedih bukan kepalang. Kemudian pembacanya dibawa kembali ke masa di mana lail masih berusia 11 tahun.

Saat membaca novel ini ada dua hal yang sangat terasa kental sebagai latar suasananya. Yang pertama adalah futuristik, jelas sekali setting waktunya sendiri adalah ketika bumi menginjak tahunnya yang ke-2045. Di mana teknologi tercanggih bahkan sudah bisa mencetak pakaian sendiri. Di mana transaksi pembayaran, komunikasi sudah diselipkan dalam chip yang ada di pergelangan tangan kita atau di mana mobil terbang sudah tidak lagi hanya ada di novel fantasi Harry Potter. Yang kedua adalah suasana mendung, kelabu atau abu-abu bagaimanapun itu kamu menyebutnya. Suasana mood yang dibangun oleh Tere Liye untuk pembaca juga stagnan dari awal hingga akhir, hampa, sedih. Walau ada juga saat-saat di mana ada kejadian lucu ataupun menyenangkan pun membahagiakan bagi Lail dan Esok(Soke) namun perubahan emosinya terasa tidak begitu kentara untuk pembaca. Mari berbaik sangka, mungkin Tere Liye sedang mengajarkan kita untuk tidak terlalu bersenang-senang di dunia.

Novel ini tentang Lail yang menyukai hujan, yang entah bagaimana hampir setiap momen-momen penting dalam hidupnya selalu terjadi saat hujan. Entah itu momen bahagia maupun momen yang menyedihkan. Momen di mana ia kehilangan orang tuanya. Momen di mana ia akhirnya berhasil menjadi relawan. Momen di mana ia bertemu dengan Esok.

Seperti apa yang ditulis di cover bagian belakang, novel ini bercerita tentang persahabatan, tentang cinta, tentang melupakan, tentang perpisahan. Sehingga saya juga tidak menaruh ekspektasi yang tinggi saat membacanya. Pasti ini tentang dua orang yang entah bagaimana bertemu, kemudian menjadi sepasang sahabat sampai satu atau keduanya menyimpan rasa lebih, berpisah atau dipertemukan lagi di akhir cerita. Sangat mudah ditebak. Dan kalau bisa lebih tega lagi bisa juga dikatakan sangat teenlit. Tapi kata Pram kita harus adil bahkan sejak dalam pikiran. Makanya saya juga harus bilang, walau dengan alur cerita cheesy yang mudah ditebak, Tere Liye berhasil membuatnya tidak se-cheesy itu dan tidak se-teenlit itu.

Dengan materi novel berupa hal-hal terkait ke-gunung api-an, iklim, cuaca, ataupun imajinasi-imajinasi liar tentang bagaimana kehidupan bumi di tahun 2045 mendatang. Ditambah lagi dengan pesan-pesan tersirat pun tersurat yang terkandung di dalamnya.

Bagi saya, Hujan tidak hanya sebuah novel tentang Lail dan Esok. Bahkan saya bisa bilang saya kurang peduli dengan dua tokoh ini, walau garis besar novel ini menceritakan mereka. Beberapa kali saya baca novel saya selalu punya sensasi “delusi” akan tokoh-tokoh yang ada di dalamnya, terngiang akan bagaimana tindakan yang akan mereka lakukan jika ada di situasi-situasi kehidupan nyata untuk berminggu-minggu, walau tidak semua novel memeiliki efek yang sama. Saya mendapat sensasi itu kepada Mr. Darcy dari Pride and Prejudice, Torey Hayden saat saya membaca Sheila, Amiru saat saya membaca Ayah, Lintang saat saya membaca Laskar Pelangi, tapi sayangnya tidak untuk karakter Lail pun Esok saat saya membaca Hujan.

Novel ini justru memberikan pandangan tentang bagaimana kemudian kita seharusnya berdamai dengan masa lalu, berdamai dengan kehilangan. Karena kita sering susah membedakan antara benar-benar berdamai dengan segala apa yang terjadi di masa lalu, segala kenangan buruknya dengan yang hanya memendamnya selama tidak pernah bersinggungan dengan hal tersebut tidak peduli apakah itu suatu ketidaksengajaan untuk menghindari hal tesebut ataupun memang secara tidak langsung tidak pernah lagi bersinggungan dengan hal tersebut. The arts of letting go. Seni mengikhlaskan. Untuk bagian ini jujur, Tere Liye sukses memporak-porandakan benteng yang selama ini saya bangun dengan pertanyaan, “Apakah sudah berdamai?” yang jawabnya sudah jelas.

Novel ini juga menceritakan tentang bagaimana keegoisan manusia sungguh sangat bisa membunuh siapa saja. Bahkan bisa pula menjadi alat bunuh diri paling efektif secara perlahan. Hanya masalah waktu hingga keegoisan dapat membunuh siapa saja yang masih menyimpan rasa seperti ini di dalam hatinya.

Walau kurang peduli rasanya tidak adil pula jika saya tidak belajar apapun dari sosok Esok dan Lail, di mana cinta lagi-lagi bukanlah suatu hal yang harus ditunjukkan dengan kata ketika mereka berdua. Cinta itu soal aksi. Aksi untuk tidak sekedar menunjukkan bahwa perasaan itu ada tetapi juga bagaimana seharusnya aksi yang dilakukan dengan sebuah ketulusan dan keikhlasan.

Buku ini saya berikan 2 bintang saja untuk maknanya yang mendalam walau alur, karakter maupun pembangunan mood pembaca yang mungkin tidak cocok dengan “gaya” saya. Tapi untuk kamu yang butuh bacaan ringan, butuh bacaan untuk menemani perjalanan 5 jam macet di Jakarta di pagi dan malamnya, buku ini boleh jadi pilihan. Selamat menikmati titik hujan.

Karena ia tak sempurna,

Masihkah kamu menyukai hujan?

Beauty is A Wound, isn't it?

How many of us –girls/women look into the mirrors every morning make sure the makeup we wear for that day is perfect enough for like.....hours? Or maybe for those who don’t even use any make up just maybe thinking “At least, it’s not shameful to meet the colleagues.”

Do you really believe that beauty has a real standard? Like all those supermodels who walk down the catwalk. And they walk literally like cat. When you can say yourself beautiful when you have 45 kilograms of weight and 175 centimeters something of height –this is NOT a jealousy of mine who’s overweight, for sure. And you forced yourself to get in all those number, unconciously it leads you to bulimia or anorexia. Does that count as beauty also?

It’s actually a kind of humanity when you like something’s beautiful, so does The Creator of us who love the beauty, that’s why He made us beautiful, but somehow all the media blurred them all, and we can’t refuse but following the flow of the hyper realistic reality. When beauty is counted in numbers, happiness is defined by what you wear, what you ride, what you talk about. When what matters in our eyes is reputation. It’s funny how the society construct them all somehow.

It's been a good companion during the traffic, help me to survive every Sundays
and understand how beauty can be seen.

But, this time, I’m not going to judge or talk more about beauty standard or the cruel society who made it. I’m going to share the experience of reading a novel, entitled Beauty is A Wound by Eka Kurniawan. But I read the Bahasa Indonesia version of it, entitled Cinta Itu Luka.

Well, I read this book because of the recommendation from the friend of mine who is also a bookworm. I will share the experience, so this is not going to be some kind of retention of book review like you can always find in magazine or newspaper.

Nothing much I could get in the synopsis at first. It’s only telling us about someone –a woman, who was forced to be a *hore in the colonials era and she had 3 girls, 3 beautiful girls, so beautiful people would die for them, and when she’s pregnant for the fourth girl, she wished to have a super ugly girl who will be named, Si Cantik (The Beauty).

The novel was started by the information of Dewi Ayu who was reborn from its grave after 20 years died. From here I could sense all the fantasy and also mystical thing that Eka gave to this novel. Well, doesn’t matter to me, I could accept this. Eka combined a progressive and flashback plot through its characters. He always flashback to a situation or time where there is a character come up in the next chapter or the chapter after that. Somehow it makes the story felt expanding. Like at the beginning you may think this novel will only tell you about Dewi Ayu –as the main character, but no dear, it expands and will tell you about how Dewi Ayu could ever exist. Yap the novel also told us the story about her mama and papa and her grandparents, and the lover of her other grandmother. It’s still related to the story but, to me, somehow it’s just too far from what Eka’s message that he want to deliver.

Point number two; there are too many characters here that I find it’s not so good for the readers to really get drown into the characters. It doesn’t matter after all at the beginning but, when it comes to the end, it leaves some questions about why’s and how’s the character A or B or C could X or Y or Z? Sorry not sorry but some things become a little confusing and ambiguous to me.

So, It’s a story about Dewi Ayu’s Big Family, not Dewi Ayu herself. Remembering the title “Cantik Itu Luka” (Beauty is A Wound –English version) the essence of this title is not always told by the main character. Like how the history of Dewi Rengganis who is The Most Beautiful Princess ever exist in Halimunda could hide away just to defend herself from all those people who adored her beauty. And how her beauty could start a war between some kingdoms. Somehow it tells us about how powerful the beauty is, it could control our mind, our body, even start a war, and become wounds for other people. Tragic. Not only about how Dewi Rengganis’ beauty, the novel also tells uus about many others tragedy that starts because beauty and most of them are because of Dewi Ayu’s children. I’m thinking how Eka tried to give us another insight or point of view about beauty. So many people adore beauty, but when it comes to tragedies like when Dewi Ayu was forced to be a *hore because of her beauty, or Alamanda was rapped because of her beauty and her bad behavior of being a playgirl, or even Dewi Rengganis when finally she got to married to a dog because of her promise to her people, would people still want to be beautiful people? Even the most beautiful creature on earth got its dark side. Nothing’s perfect.

Reading this book is like opening up your old-old-old history book under your bed. I was like running through one era to another. Here is brief timeline of history that we would relearn in this novel :

Dewi Ayu itself born in Colonial period, where she herself was an Indonesia-Netherland born. The novel tells us how the situation and what kind of life our grand-grand-grandparents live in that era. After that Japan arrived in Indonesia and all the Netherlands were ran away by ship which was sinked by Japan army, lucky Dewi Ayu was not one of the victims. After that Japan was defeated and then Indonesia celebrate its Independency. Then it passed the Aggression by NICA, this moment helped Dewi Ayu to bring back her hope for her treasures but in this time, she will be the *hore that people would adore for the rest of her life, instead. And this novel also told us about how the communism grew in Indonesia, only in the lower level –regional level; like Halimunda. Next is how the capitalist was born and control all the resources –in Halimunda case, it’s fishes that they control. And how the Chinese was starting to trade and doing some business. This novel also told us about how the Slaughter of PKI has been done. And also how preman or known as free-man was erased without any information left, one of those moments in New Order in this Republic. That is it. Now you can breathe...

And there is also a special redline for me when I read this book. First, I don’t know whether Eka Kurniawan is a socialist or a communist or not one of them. But I feel “something” just how he build the character one to another. Kamerad Salim is the first communist to come up, that somehow influenced Kliwon –that will be known as Kamerad Kliwon, the leader or Indonesian Communist Party (PKI) in Halimunda in a few years ahead. Technically, Kamerad Salim is not the first Communist to come up, but Kliwon’s father, he’s also a communist but Eka didn’t give any space for Kliwon’s father to show up, which is good. He told communism as it’s not something to be aware like all the other books we usually find in the bookstore or thing that had ever been a ghost to some people. Eka only told us (more than once) that there will be a time when this party will be broke down and all the communist will get what they deserve.

Let’s get in the character of Dewi Ayu’s Children’s spouses.

First, there is this Shodanco. Someone who is dedicated on his job to his region, and have the spirit to defend his region from any disturbances. Never lose in any battles. Will always get what he wanted. Got 3 ships –the big ones to catch fishes in Halimunda that will set the fire between the local fisherman lead by Kamerad Kliwon and him. He will destroy those who don’t have the same point of views. For me, Shodanco is not only a veteran in any wars he led, but also a represent of government. Even though his role is as soldier, head of soldier in Halimunda, to me it’s enough to represent government.

Second, it’s Maman Gendeng. The strong men who ever lived in Halimunda. He’s a fighter. His role is as a freeman who controls the region. He cares for his friends, and never let anybody to take his place, in case if there is someone who wants to take it, take it with blood. But this strong man, have a little education so it is only strength that can be counted by him. To me he represents people. A starving people, sometimes they don’t need some kind of strategic position like Shodanco, they only need enough foods. He cares about his position just to make sure it’ll give him a kind of guarantee to have what he need to live.

Third, it’s Kamerad Kliwon. Live as a son of a tailor. He was described as a kind, got his own world that somehow his mother can’t understand, love Dewi Ayu’s daughter –Alamanda sincerely, caring and never play with any *hores and never rape any girls just like the two other guys.

I don’t know if it is just me and my bad thoughts or Eka really tried to make the Shodanco(or the government as I thought he represent to) a villain. By his ambition to be the only one who would monopolize the price of fishes in Halimunda and the fact that he rape Dewi Ayu’s daughter just to get her and how he rape her –even after marriage, I’m not sure if this could be mentioned as rape though.

Even Maman Gendeng (the freeman) and friends, the ones with tattoos and love to get drunk are those who play as the victims. Even Maman Gendeng tried to be a better man after his marriage with Dewi Ayu’s daughter, spend his money for her wife’s business just to get a better life after he planned to quit for being a freeman and plan to be farmer, fisher or whoever he will be but not more fighting for money or somebody’s beer. Eka tried to make this character who is always judged by society as the villain to be someone who actually has the same spirit as ours to be a better person.

And Kamerad Kliwon with all the good stuffs I mentioned. It becomes clearer when it comes to how these three guys died. The communist (Kamerad Kliwon) he suicided because of he feel sorry for his wife because he has cheated on her because of his old love that he has been kept after years passed by, such as sweet guy, right? Maman Gendeng died of Moksa(leaving his body to Heaven), and Shodanco died of dogs that eat him alive –the animal that he used to like.

In my opinion, Eka direct us to like those who we should like and who we should not like. And another stereotype that Eka try to break for those who still don’t know about this stuff is about the relation between being communist and being a theist. Because there is one fine line where Kamerad Kliwon feel sorry for the loss of Mualimin, one of the member in the party with this sentence ,

“Bagaimanapun Mualimin adalah seorang komunis muslim. Ia telah mati dalam perjuangan, sebab ia menganggap hal itu sebagai jihad. Ia telah menulis wasiat sejak bertahun-tahun lalu bahwa jika ia mati  dalam perjuangan, ia ingin dikuburkan sebagai syuhada.” (Kurniawan : 306).

It’s like well it’s true tho, there’s no relation between being communist and having one faith or religion, being a theist. But I just wondered if this sentence are read by those who is can’t filter the information, will they think “so why is everybody refusing communism while it’s good, people from the lower level are living in peace?”

It’s amazing tho, how Eka tried to give us explanation about what happened between this three characters in the novel when we connect them in the real live in 2 most important tragedies in the history of this Republic which are G30S and Petrus(Penembakan Misterius).

After all the big events and tragedies that happened time to time that never stop amazed me, I think the ending is one of the part that hit me hard with a question, “Are we done yet?” because it feels like something that is forced to stop. If the purpose is to kill the ending part when Kliwon said, “Karena Cantik Itu Luka”, sorry not sorry, Eka you failed(at least and hope it’s only for me), because it’s not killing. The sentence and the thing that they do is not killing. Even other character –the supporting ones, are implicitly much better for saying the message you want to deliver than how Kliwon did it for the ending part.

Despite all those things I don’t like in the novel this novel is still worth to buy and to read. It will give you some insights and a brand new point of view of how you see beauty, how you see people and their efforts, how you see imperfections, a spirit to learn about the history of Indonesia, and how to respect each other. I’ll give êêê stars for the rate.

 Sorry for giving you so much spoilers btw hehe. And if you have any book recommendation please shares it to me and leave your comments here.

The last, imperfection makes you human, dear.

Jalan Jakarta

Hey!

How are you doing?

Such as common way to start a post on blog, but yea who cares.

First thing first, I would like to say taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum, may Allah receive our effort and prayers in Ramadhan, forgives our sins and grant us a super happy life ahead.

Maybe this post would be only understood by Indonesian readers, since we(Indonesian people) have such us unique, confusing yet exciting culture for Eidl Fitr. And what makes it perfect is that every province, even region seem to have their own culture for Eidl Fitr, you know, this makes me feel proud somehow for being Indonesian. And after all, Eidl Fitr is not something that is only celebrated by Moslem here, but also people with other religion, no wonder almost 85% people here are Moslem. We share food, gather after praying Eid and forgive each other.

One of those culture that I will share to you is about “Mudik”. Mudik itself stands for “Mulih sedilik”. The words came from Javanese, means “Go home for awhile”. By that meaning, actually the word “mudik” is not supposed to be something that we can do in Eidl Fitr, right? But back then in 1970’s, Jakarta with more than 70% urban people, they only got long holiday just before Eidl Fitr until after Eidl Fitr. So, that’s why, those urban people do their “Mudik” thing and this phenomenon was spread all over region then soon or later it became culture.

That was a little story about Mudik. The rest you can browse it, Google is there waiting for you. This is my 3rd Eidl Fitr that I don’t do “Mudik”. Before I always celebrated my Eidl Fitr, in Yogyakarta –my grandpap’s house, I would stay there for almost a week before Eidl Fitr, and spend 2 or 3 days in Solo –my grandmam’s house. Those times I always took the road trip with my uncle’s car. I tell you what, it’s tiring, exhausting, aching, but I don’t mind to repeat it all over again. Just imagine, you would do a road trip for 16 hours if you’re pretty lucky, but 2 days if the traffic’s screwed. My record for road trip from Jakarta to Yogyakarta; the fast one was 16 hours and the longest one was 1, 5 days. But since 3 years ago, I always celebrated my Eidl Fitr here in Jakarta, I feel both sad and happy. Sad because I couldn’t gather with my big-big family, happy because Jakarta in these days is quiet exciting yet a little bit frustrating –even it’s not like the usual day. Why? Here are the reasons:

#1 you must know like all the curses you always heard when you’re on the road, or the bells that almost broke up your ear. Those things are frustrating, to me actually. And I almost never heard it in these joint holidays. I know Mudik is not only good for your family but also for some people’s ear.

#2 In the usual day, you should or you must go 2 hours before you’re late to somewhere where the distance is 7 kilometers, and you don’t need to go that early now, because you can go there with only 30 minutes. Crazy I know. This is heaven.

#3 Go to somewhere new, explore the city, go to the city park, I know Jakarta is a dilemma kind of thing, after its beauty and its ugliness, the crimes and the hard work, the traffic, the urban and the high living standard, I think now is the time where you can be you and really “Enjoy Jakarta!” My advice; take a public transportation, it’s quiet comfy now –Just remember, when was your last time taking Transjakarta from Blok-M to Kota with only 10 passengers? Now is the time dear. Take your map, don’t be afraid to get lost, got no friend to walk around with? Just go.

#4 Let me think about any other word that can substitute Jakarta, hmmm that must be patient. Even in these lazy days, Empty Street, for you taxi users or any other online public transportation, well, you should be patient more and more. Because nowadays, they become so rare that you want to eat yourself. One hour and 30 minutes for one available taxi to come, it’s not a joke.

Eidl Fitri is not only talking about Mudik, Opor Ayam, Ketupat, and else. It’s also about gathering with your family to strengthen the relation between one to another. And somehow you would go to your uncle’s and auntie’s nonstop for a week. There are some stuffs that I cannot leave my house without. Here they are:

Things to Bring!

#1 I usually use a sling back for going out.

That because my mom ever asked me, nope, I mean instructed me to put off my backpack and change it to sling back, because I look alike someone who wanted to go to school.

#2 Notebook and Pen

Inspiration can across your mind in the way you never expected before, that’s where I would write everything, what I see, what I think, what I listen to, maybe about the next post, about the organization, college, etc.

#3 Purse

Most important thing to bring when you go out.  Put it safely, and never bring lots of money wherever you go, but that doesn’t mean you don’t bring no money at all. It’s actually not only about the money (this sentence remind me to an old song), but also other cards that would make you frustrating when you lost it.

#4 Cellphone

Who doens’t need this? Calling parents. Replying important messages and emails. Killing time. Browsing. Maps. Ordering Ojek. The rest you can mention it better.

#5 Power Bank

In case it’s emergency and my cellphone is running out of battery.

#6 Headset

In case some people around you are annoying, you can punch them in the face or you need to relax a little while, escape from the reality, this one could help.

#7 Charger

I never used my power bank if I could find any terminal, that’s why I bring this.

#8 Glasses

I’m not a kind of people who always wear my glasses, but I always bring this just in case my eyes are tired and it helps me a bit.

#9 Tumbler

To keep me hydrated. 2 litter in a day is a must! and to reduce the use of plastic bottle. #SaveEarth

#10 Flashdisk

My sister just gave it back to me, and I haven’t taken that out of my bag.

#11 Matte Lipstick, Long lasting Lipstick, and Lipbalm

These three things are my moodboosters. Long Lasting lipstick help your lip color to stay like that even you’ve eaten Opor Ayam for 2 portions. Lip balm prevent my lip from a dry lips, it hurts, to suddenly feel the taste of the blood and you realize your lip is bleeding because it’s too dry.

#12 Cajuput Oil and Maag Liquid Meds

Maag is suck. You know that.

#13 Hand Sanitizer

I’m not that kind of everything-must-be-clean girl, I just don’t like something’s oily in my hands.

#14 Tissue

Because my alergic can come to me, whenever it wants.

That is all, my sharing time is finally over. Thank you for reading, forgive me for my bad-bad-bad English and grammar. Thank you for following my blog posts so far, hope you enjoy it and could take something’s meaningful from it. And.... since it’s still in Eidl fitr, forgive me if I misbehaved, too careless, too literal, too emotional, the rest you can mention it better. Just hope that you would say it not only in your mouth but also accepted by your mind, and your heart.

Happy holiday, Happy Eid Mubarak!

Ramadhan's Gift

So we’ve finally arrived at the end of Ramadhan this year. For God’s sake, the time flee too fast. This is one of those feeling that has been rewind over and over again every year when this holy month came around and went on just like that, leave us thinking, “have we done the best of us to pray, to do something good or............not?”

There were too many things that I put on my to-do-list at the beginning during this month back then. To read and recite the Holy Qur’an, finishing book –some books actually, sharing ifthar, and so on. But, my bad and undisciplined personality make it hard to reach them all, so I could only focus on some stuffs not all of my targets, here I’m trying to deal with it, and forgive myself –actually also hoping that God forgive me.

What I believe is that there will always be at least one thing to learn during the Ramadhan every year. This year, this Ramadhan is another learning phase for me; they’re about new stuffs, and some about my old stuffs which were still hanging around my head.

Like, this year is the seventh Ramadhan without my dad. Thank God, for making time flee so fast, so it doesn’t feel hurt at all. No. It hurts, but just not that hurt. So I just feel like he was going somewhere, for business, that’s it. Where actually, he was going home. You know, this time I think God just try to teach me to really take time to deal with it, not just go with the flow not taking any minutes to thinking of it, and feeling everything is okay, when everything is really not.

And there were too many conditions which tried to give me some kind of enlightening, so I learn that sustenance, luck, fortune or whatever they say, is not something that is only about money, wealthy, gold or every artificial thing. It could be something like a willing to help, health, the oxygen you breathe; it’s just too far-ranging that people can easily forget. You know how media nowadays works, they told us about how happy supposed to be, and we were all delusion about it, unconsciously following the trend and fake reality.

While happiness is that simple like when you give what you have, you know, it gives us –or me, such as special feeling when you share something. And of course, forget all of those standards that our society makes.

To give a little celebration for I don’t know what, I was making a Baked Fusilli for dinner. Actually, I wanted to make Chicken Lasagna back then –thanks to my friend Avisena and her post which were encouraging me to make it, but when I looked for the ingredients, I found no lasagna, so I bought fusilli instead. It only take about 60 minutes to make it, so if you’re not in hurry, you can try this, make it as dinner, or even your side dish for your Lebaran Day. Let’s break the recipe, here we go.

Here's the look of the Baked Fusili 

The Ingredients

• 250 gr Chicken fillet
• 3 Sausages, cut into small pieces
• 2 carrot , cut into cube
• 1 tomato, cut into cube
• Tomato pasta / sauce
• 1 onion, slice
• 2 tablespoon butter
• 1 tablespoon meizena
• 300 gr fusilli
• 200 ml chicken broth
• 3 eggs
• Butter
• Mozzarella (optional)
• Salt, sugar, pepper, for seasoning
• Aluminum foil

The Steps

-          Boil the chicken fillet in the boiling water to get its chicken broth, set aside

-          Set aside the chicken broth, take the chicken and cut it into cube, set aside

-          The making of Bolognese Sauce

Ø  Sauté the onion with two tablespoon of butter until it smells good, put the carrot, sauté it until its color changed. Put the chicken and the sausages. Pour the tomato sauce, you can also use the tomato pasta, and put the tomato.

Ø  Pour ¾ chicken broth into your soon-to-be Bolognese sauce.

Ø  Take ¼ of the chicken broth, mix it with one tablespoon of meizena, and pour it to your sauce. Wait until its texture is perfect.

Ø  Last but not least, add sugar, salt and pepper for seasoning.

Ps. I never quantify the number of tablespoon that I took for these ingredients in every time I cook; it just goes by my instinct, lol. You know cooking is about feeling right?

Ø  After it all mixed up, set aside.

-          Boil the fusilli into boiling water; add some salt, until it’s expanded and tender. You can add 1 tablespoon of oil during the boiling process or after the boiling process, so it’s not going to be sticky when it’s done.

-          Spread butter all over the aluminum foil, put the fusilli, grate mozzarella, add more fusilli, and add some eggs and the last grate more mozzarella on top.

-          Baked for 15 minutes, and voila!

Your Baked Fusilli is ready to serve: 9

Have a good time with your family, spread lots of love!

Counting Blessings

I was surprised first, to get this question, "You haven't posted anything on your blog, why?" said someone. Happy? Of course, finally I found out that this blog still got its readers, thanks. And it hits me from the cloud nine, I meant like “how far you’ve been gone, Nin? How long was that? You did really badly on your time management, really. Whatever happened to ‘just write, don’t think’?” and any other questions that popped out of my mind.

But I’m back. Since this is the first Ramadhan. I would like to say my sorry to you all, if I did bad, if my words fail me and hurt you, if my jokes were too suck you wanted punch me on the face, forgive me. Hope that we could make it through to the last day of Ramadhan and of course make the best of us, and after all, be better ones.

“You want to stay creative? Try to count your blessings.”

That’s the first line I read first time I woke up today before sahoor, even I know I won’t make my first day of fasting in Ramadhan, I know period’s suck. So I try to please myself on trying to give “something” with writing, since it used to be my “thing” before I drown in the ocean of deadlines and assignments.

 

The more we count our blessings, the more we feel nothing

Counting blessing? Can we? It’s not like we were counting sheep that will lead us to our deepest sleep, right? Or it is? I’m going to answer it later. First thing first, I got one thing in my mind that you might want to know.

The beginning of everything is when I got this special assignment from my lecturer, to make a documentary. Shortly, my team took Griya PMI Solo which is a house of people with mental disorder, schizophrenia, etc; as its subject for our documentary, in the other words, we would like to visualize and tell the world that these people deserve to be treated without discrimination, that they’re the same as us who sometimes proudly call their selves “normal” people, that they deserve to be humanized.

Somehow, lately this is not only about my assignment anymore, it becomes more emotional than I thought before, it touched my heart and pushed my mind to think, “how far you’ve been doing to yourself, to people surround you?” I feel none. I imagined how good these people once like, not because now they become bad, they still are, just in the way they did not realize. I was going to the psychiatrist; well she said that they’re the strongest in their weakness. When in time there were so many people who were cursing life, even God because of the life’s test that they got, and deciding suicide as their best way to escape, when it’s definitely not. These people with mental disorder stay strong.

First time I see them, before I really interacted with them, I would ask, “What’s wrong with them? They seem.... normal.” Because they are, they could interact, some of them could do what we could do like cooking, washing, even I see some of the male patient could sneak out to buy ice tea, really, buy. And then I asked what’s wrong with the society? Even maybe, they got feeling that is stronger than our heart can feel. They need love, appreciation, and cares as much as we need it, I feel sick of seeing those with mental disorder on the road, seperate by the society, treated like they’re invisible, ignored like they’re virus, when maybe all they need is a friend to share. Griya PMI Solo is not only a house for people with mental disorder or schizophrenia; it’s also a house of love I think. Because, I don’t know. I see sincerity in the way the staffs there, taking care each people; feed them, play with them, even showering them. They give them the love they lost.

Until one day, when I was taking video of them, it’s already Maghrib. And all the people were going to the hall, including the patients. When we were busy taking video, when one of them asked,

“Aren’t you praying?”

“Yeah we want to, we would put this first. Are you?”

“No, I’m in my period. We can’t”

And there I feel speechless. I feel the weight of the world just fell off my head. Even she could remind me not to delay my praying tim. Just before that, I couldn’t stand it; my tears streamed down my face when I heard one of the male patient take the microphone for Adzan. And I heard nothing from the other patient, they listened to it. It was soothing. And then again I asked, “When we keep delaying our praying time, which’s actually unconscious? Us? Or them that we usually called as people with mental disorder?”

The next day, I slept over there with my team to make an early shooting, and also to stay awake all over the night to begin the editing process –even I was the one who could not resist, and slept like I’ve done nothing wrong. The next morning, when we help the staffs to give them morning tea I see one patient−complete with the gloves on her hands, was taking care the old woman, showering her, changing her clothes, patiently and also with love, like all the staffs give it to her. I think of the love cycle that exists here in Griya PMI Solo. The love they lost, now they got it from the staffs, and then they could continue to give the love they got without diminished the feeling. It’s beautiful. A kind of perfect in all imperfections. Such as bless.

And can we count the blessings? Well, even the number of stars in the million galaxies could never ever count God’s blessings. And maybe it would take a lifetime, from the moment we were born, to the moment that we were old and grey, and we are not able to breathe anymore, yet we still lack of time of counting blessings. No one ever could, because we would be running out of number.

Because I knew I would run out of number, I would love to share what I learned from there like how we should appreciate the life we got, and how we supposed to not too easy to give in. They teach me, that God’s test is only for those that God loves, that God think they’re strong enough to receive the test. They remind me a lot about the concept of humanize the human, how far I’ve been doing? Have I appreciate people even myself? Have you?

Have a blissful Ramadhan!

Don’t count your blessing, but

Know it, feel it, live it, repeat.

BREAK it FAST Part 3

You know that feeling of waking up and feeling like you’ve walked a thousand miles, and felt you tired and starved, right? I know it’s too hyperbolic for a moment before your Monday is finally over, but it’s just because I’m pretty excited to share this post to you. Finally, after I’m going back to my granny’s, and collecting the pieces of spirit to cook in my granny’s kitchen, I do it today. I meant, it’s not that I never got myself there, I did actually, for making an omelette or instant noodle, some things which were not included my willing to do some experiments. But this morning, once again, I did.

The story began after a sip of my Aceh Gayo Coffee, my friends brought it to me from Sabang, one of my favorite Arabica coffees so far and felt that my belly wanted something more. Opening my magical drawer, and I only found a chili powder and oat. Oat for a Healthy Monday Morning, why not? But I got no fruits to eat with, and I’m not planning to eat it plain, never. Well, this post was made for those who's on diet, or simply love to eat Oatmeal, and bored of the same way to consume it.

So I walked my feet to the vegies stall nearby my house, and buy some ingredients to make an experiment that was running through my head, for a happy healthy Monday morning. It doesn’t take too long to make this, 15 minutes is more than enough. Now, check this out.

Oat-melette

good food makes a good mood ;)

Ingredient

• 1 egg
• 2 spoon table Instant Oatmeal
• 200 ml milk
• 2 spoon tea Chili Powder (optional)
• For seasoning salt, sugar, pepper
• Oil

Steps :

1. Whisk eggs, oatmeal, milk, chili powder, salt and sugar in the bowl till it’s mixed.
2. Heat 1 spoon table oil in the frying pan wait until it’s ready, and add the mixed eggs there. Flip the oat-melette and wait until it’s cooked.
3. And it’s ready to fill up your empty belly, you could eat it with mayonnaise or sauce, whatever you like. I myself prefer chili powder.

It’s actually as the same as the making of scramble eggs, even the kindergarten kiddos can do it. So what’s the purpose? The purpose is to make you happy in the kitchen, doing some experiments, feel the experience, and remember the excitement, because having the same old omelette won’t color up your day.

Bon Appétit!

BREAK It FAST Part 2

There are some little things that influence so much the way I act the whole day. They are  choosing a color of a the day, first song to listen, or articles to read. Morning is a crucial time for me, I meant a mood for 20 minutes in the morning can affect the rest of the day. How can it be? Well, at least it happens to me.

Talking about color, what color that will make you feel brave? Cheerful? And bold? I would love to answer all that with, RED! Well, I myself don’t have a specific favorite color, it all change all the time, like it goes with the mood. Today I may love blue, tomorrow maybe yellow, and yesterday was grey. But, talking about red, I have that friend who love red so much like she will choose red as the color of everything that she will buy, no matter what. It sounds crazy, but she’s exist. Lol.

And this morning I made a quick breakfast that remind me of her. So I got this delicious recipe that will only spend 20 minutes of your morning. I think It’s good for those who wants to start your diet or just try to love eating vegies. And of course, veggy makes you happy. Check it out.

Red Soup.

Be Red, Be Brave for whatever you may be!

Ingridient

• 2 fruit of Tomatoes (The big ones)
• 5 meatballs
• 5 sausage
• 200 gr chicken fillet
• 2 carrot, slice it into small ones
• 200 gr cauliflower, cut it into small ones
• 3 Garlic
• 1 Teaspoon pepper
• 1 Onion
• 250 ml water
• 1 tablespoon Meizena
• 2 tablespoon Butter
• Seasoning (Salt, sugar, pepper, chicken broth powder)

Steps :

1. Cut into small cubes and blend the tomatoes until it’s really mixed, filter the juice and the pulp, set aside.
2.  Slice the meatballs, sausages and carrots. Set aside.
3. Cut the cauliflower into into small pieces. Set aside.
4. Cut the chicken fillet into small cubes. Set aside.
5. Let’s make the spice! Puree the onions with one teaspoon pepper, put some salt set aside.
6.  Heat 2 tablespoon of butter to saute the onion and spice, saute it until it smells good.
7. Put the chicken, sausages and meatballs,  cook it until it’s half cooked.
8. The veggy time! Now, put the carrot and the cauliflower, and add the tomato juice. Cook until it’s boiling.
9. Seasoning! Add some sugar, salt, chicken broth powder and pepper, as you like it. The tomato juice itself tastes pretty sour, make sure you add enough sugar.
10.  Pour 1 tablespoon of Meizena that is dissolved with about 50 cc of water. Cook it until it’s boiling.
11.  Move it to a plate, and you can use celery or parsley for the garnish.

Yeay a plate full of spirit is ready to be served. Enjoy your day, be cheerful, be brave, be bold as this color told you so! Don’t forget to let me know when you made yours. Cheerio!

Bon Appétit!

BREAK It FAST

Hello there!

First thing first, I’m not kind of an always-have-breakfast-before-jump-in-my-activities person. I easily skip and take brunch to replace it. In this case, it’s usually because I have no time or too lazy to get off of bed early, but lately I realize it has such as good impact for me, specifically, for my mood.

Ok, let’s break it fast.

Who love Maccaroni? I meant, Who doesn’t? I’m not kind of an Italian Tongue who love all the dishes from that Pisa Country, but I like pasta! It gives me a pleasure feeling for eating it, because I don’t eat rice, I don’t know if it’s correlalted but, that’s it. So, what can we eat for an easy and quick breakfast with pasta? Check this out.

Maccaroni Carbonara

Dare to share? 

This food is actually made by three important ingridients, but I made some improves, because some ingridients are not available in my house. So, here they are.

Ingridient :

• 200 gr pipe maccaroni
• 1 slc chicken fillet
• 200 ml  water
• 75 gr melted cheese
• 1 tablesppon Meizena
• 2 garlic
• 1 onion
• (salt, chicken broth powder, pepper) Seasoning
• Chili powder
• 100 gr butter

Steps

1.   Boil maccaroni in the boiling water until it’s expand and tender, set aside
2.  Wash the chicken fillet until it’s clean and cut it into small cubes, set aside
3. You can use whatever melted cheese you like, I myself use the cheddar cheese and I cut it into small cubes, set aside.
4.   Slice the garlics and the onion, set aside.
5. Take the maccaroni and put 2-3 tablespoon of butter, mix it, until the macaroni doesn’t stick to each other.  I use 2 tablespoon of butter to saute the spice, put the garlic and the onion, saute it until it smells good. Put the cheeses and the chicken cubes, saute it until it’s half cooked.
6.  Pour the ¾ water, and wait until it’s boiling, and then put the maccaroni. The original recipe is using milk, but since my mother doesn’t like milk, so I replaced it with just water. 
7. When it’s already cooked, pour a tablespoon of meizena that is dissolved with the ¼ of the water. Give it salt, pepper, chicken broth powder and sugar for seasoning.  Wait until it’s cooked.
8. And the last, move it to the plate, sprinkle some oregano or just chili powder if you don’t have it in your house.

Quick and Easy right? It only took 20 minutes to cook it, so I think it won’t waste your time, and a time you spend in the kitchen is a worth wasting for. Let me know if you’ve made yours!

Bon Appétit!