Friday, March 22, 2013

She

If you ever read this
this shit is what she wanted to say so far

She tried to heal the wounds that he made
Alone
She also tried to love again
but then she realized
there's no other
there's no way to escape the feeling

She knew 
how much he broke her heart
how many pieces she gotta pick
how sick he tore her heart
how far he went away
yet, she stays

She tried to keep herself in silence
avoids every possible conversation she might get with him
because his voice is her favorite tune
more than every song she could ever love

she's tired of building up the wall in front of him
she's that damn tired
of running
of hiding
of feeling down
she's that damn tired

And the laughter
She laughs hard
no, she didn't fake it, she never did
if you ever listen to them 
carefully
there's something deep inside her heart
pain, wound, scar, whatever it is
that she hopes, they may be healed by the laughter

She tries hard on giving herself 
assumption and suggestion
at night when she want to off to bed
at dawn when the first time she opens her eyes
that everything will be alright
that everything will be fine
(that maybe he will be coming back around)

She also avoids every eyes contacts to him
because she knew
looking into his eyes will bring back 
those sweet short memories

Now she's wondering
"why does every love song seem to be made for me?"
"Am I there? In your prayer? Cause you're on mine"
"Hey! Who the hell I am for thinking on this shit?"

Deep inside
She needs
She hopes
She prays