Sunday, June 12, 2011

hey I miss them!

You’ve got no idea how I miss the entire thing that I had, and all the laughter that I’ve shared with the. Now all the memories are coming back. Let my mood down to the ground. Like, there’s something missed from my soul. And you know? I’ve got no one. I mean, really nobody’s here with me to tag along with my hell damn fucking situation. Like, I want to cry but all I have to do is to hold all the tears, because I should make them sure that I’m 100% okay. Even if, there’s a mount of pains killing me. I’ve been trying to chill out, to be strong, to laugh it all off, but I can’t stand of being like that or the rest time of my senior high school. I want my old life back, I want my mom, i want my friends who live in a place where I used to live before, I want my sista. Childish huh? I don’t care, cause, all I know, they could make me feel better. Even I should live without my daddy’s hug, without my daddy’s smile, daddy’s anger, and everything from them. I’ve been missing him so hell damn much.

First, thought that 1 year is enough or me to move on or to heal all the pains that he left but the fact is not. I still got this pain on my chest; still got him running through my mind, still got those tears running down my face every night, and still got those damn fucking fake-smile on my face. That’s why I screamed, that’s why i really insist God to bring back my old life. THIS IS NOT THE LIFE THAT I WISHED!!!